Many Best Friends...
Sooooo........
I have a lot of best friends. People tend to tease me about this habit. Some say you can only have 1 best friend. But my life has been so divided up into separate little chapters, that it's hard to pick just one. It's a little like trying to pick your favorite film or book character of all time. I mean, what kinda book are we talking about??? Biography? I'm a sucker for Edna St. Vincent Millay or Carson McCullers. Novel? The Spaulding brothers in Dandelion Wine. Or Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. Or hell, I'm still a geek for Anne of Green Gables.
I can't pick. Same goes for my friends.
In 5th grade and middle school my best friend was Mary. She came from an uber religious family and was devastatingly smart. I liked her because she was so good and kind. We kept notebooks where we'd write each other letters in class.....these mainly consisted of me gushing about my one true love Larry, and Mary telling me how lame I sounded. After 8th grade, Mary went to private school so we drifted apart. But I still have the notebooks, some 15 years later.
Then I found the love of my life, Sarah B., in high school. She was the funniest, prettiest, most supportive girl I'd ever met. (Honestly, she sat through every bad play I ever did and always acted like it was the best thing she'd ever seen. She's a supreme liar.) Along with our other girlfriends Ashley, Tory and Erica, we were the Clean Teens........super squares who made good grades and would rather watch Empire Records in Ashley's basement than go to a - (gasp) - drinking party. To this day, this group is still my army. And when life gets tricky, I always end up running to Sarah.
After high school I moved to NYC. I was the only one from my school to head up to the big city, and I was wildly alone for about a year and a half.
And then I met James Ponsoldt.
I had signed up for an acting class down in the Village and was understandably intimidated to go on the first night. I had to do a much dreaded monologue as my initiation to the group. In the front row was a kind faced man who for whatever reason comforted me. Right away I knew this was a person who would be important. As fate should have it, we were paired up as scene partners at the end of class.
James was a Yale graduate and a grad student at Columbia. I was a college dropout working at MTV. Obviously I felt inferior. But as our rehearsals turned into a friendship, I found such support and inspiration from this person. For years after that class, my surrogate big brother and I would have 3 or 4 hour lunches where we'd talk about EVERYTHING. We didn't have any of the same friends, so our conversations were never about gossip. We talked about books and history and weird film and strange tidbits that fueled our creativity and curiosity for life.
We both laugh really loud and rant and go off on tangents and LOVE it.
James has always been one of the most inspirational people in my world. A few years ago he wrote and directed a movie called "Off The Black" with Nick Nolte. I remember when he was first coming up with the idea for it. We had just seen that Rob Zombie movie "House of a Thousand Corpses" and we were sitting in a strange little bar when James said "So, I think I wanna write a movie about a baseball ump." Cut to a year or two later and I'm crying as I visit his set, watching his dream come true.
Okay....the point of all of this babble is that James and I had lunch today and I can't tell you guys how heartwarming it was to see my "NYC Best Friend". Today we talked about cults and silent movie theaters, and creepy places to go in LA and diamonds (he just got engaged!!!). I came home so energized and proud of him. Currently, he's working on his next film, "Refresh, Refresh". He did exactly what we're doing here at Southern Gothic. He wrote the script based off of an award winning short story, and it has since been turned into a graphic novel that is getting stellar reviews.
Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Refresh-Danica-Novgorodoff/dp/1596435224
This is a heartbreaking story that is going to be a beautiful movie, so everyone order the graphic novel to show support for the project. You're helping a visionary!
Since leaving NYC I have made more best friends in different places. And in my opinion, that doesn't diminish the importance of any of the friendships that came before. If your friend isn't "The Best" then what's the point??
And for the record, I do have the very best friends in the world. Wishing the same for all of you.
xo
hil
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I love the idea of "life chapters." Too often we are asked for our favorites: favorite color, song, movie, friend, memory, experiene... How can you pick just one If only one is selected, it tarnishes the amazingness of the others that may have been just as amazing as the one chosen. I like the idea of chapters.
I loved green as a kid since it was green grass that I layed upon every day to watch the sky.
As a teen, i loved blue! Not just any blue, but ocean blue. How can blue not be one of your favorite colors when you live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific.
Now, I'm partial to the red. No reason, just drawn to it.
Chapters allow for every favorite to get its spot light. A favorite anything is important! It needs to be appreciated to the fullest.
Best friends, over all, need to be appreciated. Whether it was a best friend for a week in kindergarten or your best friend of 10 years from NYC. They are the best and, accordingly, they should be appreciated as the best.
i wish i was in your high school when u were in high school :(sff
That sounds very nice! It's like knowing there is always an army behind you, and the memories of the people you have spent so much time with. Had so much fun with with, it great. I am not that old, but I've seen a lot of different people, made many friends and left some others behind. But I still miss the real friends, the ones you can really trust. The ones that will always be there. And one day I will find them again!
When I was younger ( I am still young, but then I was a kid) I used to have these 2 amazing friends, but the stupid thing was... They didn't like each other! So when I was hanging out with one, the other would get mad. But It didn't matter much, cause they never stayed mad for long. I knew I could always count on them. But then I moved away, my parents had decided that we needed to go to an other country, so we did. I saw them again a few time, but after a few years we barely called each other anymore. There was no contact left!.
4 years later, I moved back! Now I am living in the same town as they do, but still we never speak to each other. we've grown apart! I took a different road then they did, and now the friendship we had is kind of non-existing! It sad when I think about it! But it cool, we all lose some people along the way.
Now I have a great friend. the funny thing is, we see each other everyday at school so we've come to know each other very well! And I truly belief that she is the only one in this world who truly knows me! And that is fun!
well anyway friendship is really important! So never forget about your friends:D
bye
Each of my friends is a "best" friend for different reasond. I have my Jessie who is the best because she's so loving and kind and takes such good care of me. Then there's my Maya, I've known her for (gasp!) 20 years. She's the one I can have deep conversations with about art and literature and we share a common love for terrible B horror films. I've got my Shannon who was mt best friend in high school and she's the one I can geek out with and sing old Backstreet Boys songs with in the car. And my Valerie, the only thing we have in common is that we love each other. They are all amazing and wonderful women and I'm better for having them in my life :)
I've always thought it would be better to have many best friends instead of one. If you have one best friend your whole life, hanging out with others may make that friend jealous. I have about 5 best friends that I balance time with to hang out. I never get into the drama. Its nice knowing that you have one best friend to trust, but it's even better to have multiple people to trust, to back your decisions, and help you through the rough times in life.
Hilarie Burton <3 I have many bestz frnz too <3 You're my best frn too <3
good on you watching empire instead of drinking thats why i <3 you best role model ever.
thank you, that means a lot. x
Okay so everyone is going to think I am extremely corny when I say this but I wish me and you were best friends. You seem like an extraordinary person and my dream is to meet you. I will be coming to Wilmington again this summer and hopefully I run into you. I ran into Sopia Bush and Austin Nichols last summer and like a loser I asked if they knew where you hung out so I could meet you (who asks a tv star where another tv star is, like I wasnt satisfied just seeing them lol!?) but Sophia told me you were out of town that weekend. I was very upset. I went down to North Carolina to meet you and instead I met Sophia and Austin. They are great people and I am glad I met them. I wish I would have met you too.
xOxO Maria XoXo
I've heard over and over again that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a life time.
And to me, thats really the meaning of what a "best friend" is. Change is one of the only constants we ever experience, and that is really the beauty and essence of life. As we as people grow, and our interests evolve we pick up new people along the way, and some get left behind- not because you loved them any less, or not because they weren't the best, but because it was time for you to grow and learn something new about yourself.
I am lucky to have had some of the best friends someone could ask for - strong, supportive, funny, uplifting. But something that some of these best friends taught to me was the best lesson I could learn: make sure you befriend and love yourself too, or else you'll start to lose sight of whats important.
Thanks for inspiring the thoughts. xo
I had a dream last night. During the day I had watched four episodes of OTH and rereaded several articles, reviewed videos of SOGOPRO and notably "1 year blogging anniversary" (very touching). And that night, I was with you.. Hilarie, Nick, Kelly, and there was also Chad, Sophia, James and Bethany... Yes, that night, you were all my best friends. I wish this dream wouldn't stop.
I agree with you Hilarie, many people come into our lives and become our best friends, because they are strong influence on us and let their mark forever. We can't forget anyone of them.
Hil, Nick, Kelly, Chad, Sophia, James, Bethany... you help me every day of my life... and I won't forget that. Some of them only as fictional characters, and the other ones throughout your creativity, vision of life, laughter, and marvellous friendship which unites you together.
I was attached to Peyton in OTH, and I become attached to you, Hilarie Burton. All your best friends are immensely lucky to know you...
I apologize for my very bad English and hope you have nevertheless understand my post.
Love from France,
Lonae.
•"The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!" - Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 1
I totally agree with you ! I fell in love with Peyton too. I always like Hilarie from TRL but OTH really made me realize that she is my FAVORITE actress.
I totally agree with you ! I fell in love with Peyton too. I always like Hilarie from TRL but OTH really made me realize that she is my FAVORITE actress.
well said. I lost my best friend...not literally though. She was you could say, my "longest" best friend. She only lives ten minutes away but somewhere along the line we went our separate ways. Even though I have many many great friends, I wish I had her. Like no one else understands but her.
I too have a best friend named Sarah :) She's great and I run to her whenever! lol
It's really good to know that you still keep in touch with your old friends Hilarie. I mean I'm still in highschool and almost all the adults around me, when I ask them, don't talk to their old buddies, or worse, don't remember them. I don't want that to ever happen!
If your friend isn't "The Best" then what's the point??
I have a feeling people are going to be quoting you for a long time Hil ;)
ooohh how we our so much alike in this aspect. I never have just one favorite of anything, or just one best friend. I can't help it, its just my personality I suppose. My brother and sister tease me about how I always say those three magic words. "Thats my favorite." I don't think you should condense your whole life down to a favorite thing, truely. Whats the point of life if we have to choose one specific thing over the other? WHY CAN'T WE LOVE EVERYTHING EQUAL!!! We should be able to have a BILLION best friends if we so desire to because i mean, each and every person that we meet are different and we always end up creating a special kind of relationship with each one. I believe we should love everything in life whole heartedly!!
"If your friend isn't "The Best" then what's the point??" well said hil!
xxx
wc
I agree...... it's soooo hard to pick just 1 best friend!!
I've lost touch with a lot of my old friends but I don't regret it. That probably sounds weird but it's true! I think everything happens for a reason and if your meant to keep in touch you will but if not. . . . well you know!!:P
I would be nowhere without my friends. Their a HUGE part of my life and I probably couldn't live without them.
Wherever you are it is your friends who make your world
Aileen :b
it's great to have a lot of best friends :) but it's so sad when you think that you really know somebody and then you realise that you don't :)
anyway...great blog!
I agree with you Hilarie about having more than one best friend. Over the years, I've been blessed to have had many great friends. In elementary school, when I was in the younger grades I had 4 friends that I was really close with. Our families were friends and needless to say we were friends.
To this day, I still have 1 of those friends. We've known each other since the 1st grade and have still maintained that great friendship. We're practically like family. Our families go on vacations together or go out to dinner together, so it's safe to say I consider her a best friend. We've been through a lot together and I know I can always count on her when I need her and vice versa.
I had this other friend, from like 3rd grade. I used to hang out at her house a lot, talk to each other on the phone, and even hang out down the park. I would occasionally even have dinner with her family. At one point, she got the idea from a book she was reading to instead of calling each other that we would write letters to each other. I still have those letters somewhere in my room and from time to time I look back on them and have a good laugh at what we talked about back then. After we graduated from elementary school, we promised each other that even though we were going to two different high schools ( i went to a catholic high school. she a public high school), that we would still be friends. But unfortunately, we drifted apart and needless to say don't talk at all anymore. I kinda wish we still did. =/
But at my high school, I made many new friends and we had an amazing four years of high school together. It's funny that one of my good friends I've practically known my whole life. We were both born in October and were baptized on the same day. We went to the same sunday school and attended the same church, yet we were never really close friends. It didn't happen until our senior year of high school when we both signed up for the schoo's spring musical, Les Miserables. From then on, we went to play practice together and drove through the park at night laughing and listening to music. We connected by the fact that we were both betrayed in a sense by girls who we thought were our friends. So, we were able to talk to each other about it and we realized we had a lot more in common then we thought. She's still part of my close group of 4 from home and don't get to see her a lot (she goes to school 5 hours from me in another state), but we still talk and I'm glad we became friends. As for the other girls that I met in high school, I'm still friends with most of them and we still hang out time to time.
And now in college, I met my roommate on the very first day of classes in my first class. We ended up sitting next to each other. We became roommates last year and she introduced to me to two other girls who became my suitemates. The four of us still dorm together on campus and I consider them my college best friends. They're the best suitemates anyone could ask for. My roommate is the best. We go on a lot of crazy adventures together, like waiting 18 hours outside 30 rock in the stand-by line for Saturday Night Live tickets and actually got to go to the rehearsal show and we like to dance from time to time in our dorm room lol :)
But I also had my fair share of drama with a girl who was like my best friend my freshman year of college who turned out to be somebody that I couldn't trust ever again. The same thing happened to me my senior year of high school. A girl who I thought was my friend (we've known each other since the 2nd grade) betrayed me in a way I cannot understand, but that's life. Sometimes in life, you have to go through things like this, but you learn from what happened and through that you just might find another great friend who cares about you and you make the most of it.
So I totally agree with you that it's hard to say you have just 1 best friend. I have many and I'm lucky to have them.
<3 Jess
PS-sorry for the whole novel....i felt like i had a lot to say. lol
Hiya Hilarie!
I love your blog! I'm completely agree with you... For me its imposible just pick up "one best friend"!!!
I feel I'm so lucky because a met many incrdible people all my life... In elementary school ( I still have contact and meet with some of them!) in High school so we are so close and we meet every week!!! I love them are my best treasure!!! I met people around the world, not just in my city or country... I have a sis in Berlin and good friends in France and Moscow... the differents steps of this way make posible meet new great people!
So its so difficult to pick just one!
I´m glad that you have a wonderful people around you! I think is normal, when someone is amazing, as you are, is normal that found cool people!!!
Yours,
Lau.
I was on a best friend emotional high this weekend and this just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I was back in my hometown for a wedding shower for a friend I"ve had since I was a 5 and a baby shower for my best friend from junior high (I'm just a few months younger than you Hil) and it's an amazing feeling. To still have these people, and countless others, in my life after all this time and share these special moments together is indescribable. I've been called a "friend collector" and not always with the nicest of connotations. I agree though, forming a 'best friendship' with someone in law school did not diminsh the bonds I had with the girls I used to play barbies with when I was 6. I'm lucky enough that a lot of my friends have become friends with each other as well and it just solidifies that they are all in my life for the right reasons. I'm actually traveling to Greece this spring with 3 of my best friends, one from high school, college and law school. But I also have those friends that are just private to me. We don't really share any other friends and revel in just having alone time together to talk about everything in our heads. I wouldn't be who I am without any of these people and am forever grateful for having many best friends.
I absolutely loved reading this!! (I've also read several of the other comments and I'm not sure there's anything new that I can say.) This spoke to me because I recently went through this very unnecessarily messy shift in a friendship that I've had with a very amazing girl. She was as close as a sister for the last five years and then one day she just wasnt there! It was really hard! Anyway, to make a long story short in reading your blog it just reminded me of a few things:
1)Everything happens for a reason! People come into your life and will either stay for a time or stay for life. Regardless of the length that time isnt wasted and shouldnt be taken for granted!
2)A "best friend" is someone that brings out the best in you and drives you to be the best version of yourself. I don't think that's a one man job, for anyone. Some will need your compassion above everything else you have to offer, while others will need your determination or your courage.
3)It's good for the soul, both yours and those you talk to, to take time and recognize the "bests" in your life. You can never go wrong with remembering how blessed you are and being thankful for that! Those people saw something in you worth believeing in and that faith remains unmatched!
"If your friend isn't "The Best" then what's the point??"
There is no point. And though the last three months have been a nightmare in some respects, they've been the most amazing three months in others! Because I too have the very best friends, I couldn't ask for better if I had gotten to hand pick them myself!
So thank you Hilarie for this beautiful reminder!
xo
Bran
Hey Hilarie,
I have always found it hard to choose for the same reasons..I think that I put my whole self into every friendship that I come across and I love them all in so many different ways that it's hard to say there's a best. I think they are all the best. I am very excited for the success of your NYC pal and I wish him all the best as I do for you guys.. Maybe one day I can help be a business friend to you as well!! I can't wait to read SGP's graphic novel and now your friends have a great week!
~Dana
I love this blog, it was exactly what I needed. Recently lots of 'high school girl crap' has been happening which kind of sucks but I now officially know who my best friends are. Like you Hilarie each are from different stages of my life. Rachel, I have known since nursery, she is an actual legend, we are on completely the same wave length and have the most fun. Sarah, I think is my all time BFF (lol) and has been since we were four, she is the girl I confess all my crushes too even when she rolls her eyes, we shop, chat, laugh, she is my complete go to girl. There is also Jane and Laura (it gets confusing), who I have only really grown attached to in this past year. Like you said, 'what is the point in having a best friend if they are not the BEST.' I can wholeheartedly say my friends are and I hope everyone elses are too :D
Laura
Love love love this! Makes me feel so much better for having the couple of best friends that I do! I can't say that one is more important then the other, Hence why When i got engaged this year I asked all 3 of them to be my maid of honor :)
And so with you on Anne of Green Gables..Classsicc! One of those best friends of mine is actually getting married in PEI on the site where Lucy Maud Montgomery wrote anne of green gables! so as I am a fellow geek, This excites me :)
Thanks again Hil for the great blog!
great blog hilarie,but i think you can a lot ,lot of friends,but the best friends you will find them in difficult moments of your life, those who you can count on when times are difficiles.Quand all goes well, there are still many people around you, then we must ask the question, why are they there, is it for us or what we can know their apporter.Je is not very happy but it's a great question.
and one thing hil, have a good year 2010
loic
the french cook
Thanks Hilarie for this blog. You always write the most insightful blogs! You are lucky to have so many best friends. I've made a lot of friends in high school but ever since i've left school, i've always struggled to form friendships as i tend to have my guard up and i keep ppl at a distance. That's why high school was the best place for me as the many years that we were 'forced' to spend together allowed me to slowly open up to someone. That's why both of my best friends are from high school. I have always believe in quality over quantity anyway (not that your many best friends are not good), so 2 is enough for me!
Lynn
I totally agree with you that you can have more then one best friend. I've never had alot of friends, but one of my oldest friends I've known 13 years, we met when we where six years old. And my other best friend I met a few years after that. And I'm really happy that we've been such good friends all this time:) And I think that even if wemove to collage and don't live in the same town and meet everyday that we three are the ones who can look back in 20 years and still be good friends. They helped me through school, I've never been an "A" student, and I don't think I would've made it without them. So I have two best friends:)
Lina:)
Best Friends make this journey we are on worth wild and some are lucky to have many companions in their life and im glad to be one of those people. just reading this blog got me thinking of my best friend Nicole from middle school we were only partners in crime for 3 years before she went to visit her dad the summer after 8th grade and never came back, i still keep in touch with her every now and then. we to had a journal we would pass back and forth filled with songs we have written or just plans for the future we also cut out pictures and taped them to the front of the notebooks that mainly consisted of boy groups we had crushes on. anyhow i have some emails to write so thanks for the read and i will check out the graphic novel.
Val
Im glad youve been blessed with wonderful people. For me, it took a little time to be able to identify who was a friend and who wasn't. The journey was painful but necessary. I can stand tall today and know the people I have around me are the very best. Those who weren't my real friends still gave me something- I still benefitted from knowing them... And in many ways they helped me appreciate those who were truly meant to be there in my life. All lessons learned in life are valuable, and though at the time I might have wished for something different, in retrospect- the process of distinguishing genuine friendship from phony friendship is something I wouldnt trade for anything. I'm a better person now with really amazing friends ;)
As usual, another warm, heartfelt and beautiful entry from you Ms. Hilarie- Keep them coming. Your words are inspiration to us all, always.
<3
Here's to friendship :)
-Kendall
thanks for share, hil
i cant pick one best friend too. because every friend is important for me, and more important than myself
Hilarie this was really great to read, it really made me think about all the best friends I've had in the past and the present. I'm always telling people about my best friends and I think sometimes I drive them crazy having so many. But it's true in different stages of your life your always meeting new people so it's impossible to just have one best friend. It was fun to read about the different best friends in your life because I know as far as my life goes that it's always those people who have really make a big impact on in my life and shaped the person who I am and I'm sure you can agree with this, so I'm glad you've been able to meet all these wonderful best friends in your life who have potentially led you to where you are now, sharing all these great things with your Southern Gothic fans. I can honestly tell you that your blogs always make an impact on me in one way or another. I have especially been living by one of the things you said in an earlier blog "Sometimes you have to break every bone in your own body just so that they will all grow back stronger." as it has really been keeping me going through some hard times lately. So Thankyou for always sharing about your life!
-ChelseaSioux.
"We both laugh really loud and rant and go off on tangents and LOVE it."
This made me smile. For it is the epitomy of what I am. And having someone to share it with is just a whole new blessing.
I always said I don't have a 'best friend' because I could never define one friend as all that GOOD STUFF wrapped into one being. To me I have plenty of ridiculously 'close friends'. Close because they're the ones that I let in and can observe the real me.
-Alina
Be a DO-er!
Hey, i like your deer head <3
Hilarie Button <3
Great blogs. Thanks for sharing all about some of your best friends.
-Melissa
"If your friend isn't "The Best" then what's the point??" That's so true. Always interesting to read your blogs.
its true haha in like 3 different intertviews i watched you were talking about your best friend and it was 3 different people haha but im the same way haha i have a best friend kiani but then i have my bestest (dont think thats a really word but haha) patience. patience and i are so close we can talk about anything. haha i met her when she came to live at my uncles ranch and the first day i met her we were sitting on opposite sides of the picknik table and we started laughing and making jokes together and that was it hhaha we were close. she was here for about 7 months and then she moved back to california... it was a dark, dark day when i had to say goodbye. we had been through so much together haha in 7 months haha such as us riding our horses in the back road and my horse spooking and taking off like an andalusian race horse, hanging the sharp turn to run back up to the barn and me flying off and knocking out haha the only people at the ranch that time were me and patience haha i had road rash accross my face, my head was bleeding, part of my bangs ripped out of my head, had a spot on my head that would sink in if i pushed on it, and a bad cuncussion. i still barely remember that day. but i do remember her taking care of me and freaking out lol she had spent the night at my house the night before and she was tryna talk about it with me but i didnt remember anything lol rincing the bloob and ripped out hair from my head lol everytime we have our lil sleep over we are both usually on the flood cracking up laughing the whole time haha when we're on the phone laughing the whole time haha she came back last summer for 2 weeks... it was too short but like before the day she left was a dark dark day full of tears...but shes coming back this spring and we are planning or ritual sleep over haha then there is kiani, we are good friends too but she mostly has drama and we hardly laugh on the phone... so thats why i have my patience haha oh ya shes not patient at all so when you have an instince of her saying hurry up! she hates it wen you tell her be patient patience haha thats why i do it haha
i love you girl!!
see you in april!
Its really nice to know that somebody else feels the same! I am extremely fortunate to have a tight knit group of friends at school, and believe me, they are the best :) I am also really fortunate to have a best friend named Sarah aswell, who i have been friends with since i was born, she is two years older than me, but that doesn't seem to mean anything, we are sisters. And than there is Adam, he is like the best, best friend anyone can ask for, so nice and ooober funny, always makes me laugh, and is a super awesome singer. For those of you who might think you are less fortunate, you just haven't come across your Sarah, or James, or Adam, but you will, and when you do, you'll never want to stop finding that person, and i think that is why people have so many best friends.
Thank you Hilarie for sharing your story with us! It means a lot! And the SGP community is closer than ever now, so thanks for bringing back the Cbox, im meeting more and more friends everyday :) Wishing SoGoPro, and anybody out there who is following thier dreams, the best of luck!
<3 Loren
I have the same problem. I wouldn't even call it a problem, but I have a had alot of close friends, some I still talk to and some that I've drifted apart from. The ones that I stuck with were the ones who would so rather watch Empire Records than go drinking at some lame party. (By the way. it's kinda creepy how your friend Ashley was one the one who wanted to watch Empire Records, cause my name is Ashley and I LOVE Empire Records!!) haha anyways...I'm still in high school and still finding out who my true friends are. It sounds like you've had a wonderful group of friends. I have two guy best friends who are the greatest people ever! They know how to make me laugh, they support everything I do. And then I have my one girl best friends, who is my crutch for everything. I pour all my problems and difficult times onto her. Even when we might go a couple days without talking, we still know that we can go to each other for support. But I would say that my family are my best friends FOREVER! They will support any decision I make, but will try to pursuade me if it's the wrong thing, because they want the best for me. I can go to my mom for anything and everyting. She is my rock in my life. I am so lucky to have the family and friends that I do. I wish all the best for my friends and their future. I know that some day I will be able to brag about how successful my friends will be and how much they have accomplished in life. And when that day comes I will be proud to do it. :)
Ashley
From the time my brother graduated high school, and even now, my mother (and father) would rant and rave about how lucky my brother was to have the same group of best friends since pee-wee football when he was 7 years old. I, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky.
I, like Hilarie, collected a few key players from each part of my life, creating a support circle that provides me everything I could ever need. I have the best friends to go to when I need a shoulder to cry on, who know that all I want is for someone to hold my hand and let me cry, the same friends that know that if I'm NOT talking about something, it means I don't want to, and simply let me be. Then I have the best friends I need for guidance, the ones I can go to and will tell me the truth, even when it hurts, and will support me whether I decide to listen to them or not. Then I have my lawschool best friends, the newest of my collection, who will sit with me and help me think out every rational aspect of whatever I'm going through. And then there's my Shannon, coincidentally the one i refer to as my BFF, but is generally the last one I go to. She's there for me in a whole different way. Either making me laugh at how ridiculous I am for being upset, but simultanesouly willing to do whatever it takes to make it right. These are all people that I've become close to over the years, who generally each know a bit of a different side of me. And the sides of me that they know allow them to be the friend that I need them to be.
So no, I don't have one big group of best friends since I'm 7 years old... But I still maintain that I'M the lucky one.
<3 vicki
This is a little something i like to remind mysself of somethies - and i think it goes well with the whole 'friendship' topic.....
'Everyone Cant Be in Your Front Row'
Life is a theater - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is spiritually healthy and mature enough to have a front seat in our lives. There are some poeple in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or dont really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you? When you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people your around! Choose wisely the people who sit in the front row seat of yourlife.
XoXo Lisa
I really like this! I'm going to have to save this somewhere.
Ashley :)
i guess that i have lots of best friends. only trouble is that i have an identical twin sister as well. she's not exactly a friend more a person who is always there for me whether i like it or not. she's so like me that she understands exactly how i'm feeling and tells me even when i want to be left alone, but it tends to help anyway. i guess i do the same thing for her.
i have two bestest best friends. the first is called hannah and she is so smart, funny and supportive. we shared classes a while back and when we were both having arguments with our main groups of friends we would talk to each other about it as we gave each other an unbiased outside view. now i share mandarin, r.p.e., history and maths classes with her and we debate the problems that come up in class and ones that are totally unrelated all through the lessons which really bugs our teachers. she intellectually challenges me and i help her to articulate her views better, when we work together we are unstoppable.
the other is one who i used to go to school with but i don't any more, even though she only lives a 1 minute walk away. i see her about once every two weeks and she is so refreshingly different from anyone else i know that she really calms me down and helps me to put my problems into perspective. she's like an older sister and younger sister in one who i don't argue with half as much because i don't see her often enough.
i think that it is also important to have friends that you don't see too often so that when you do meet them you don't end up unloading all of your problems on them and you can just chat with each other, enjoy the good stuff of the past, present and future, and have a good-natured argument with.
'one positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realities' ~ Adeline Yen Mah
p.s. sorry for rambling!
I have an identical twin sister too! And what you said about your relationship with her is exactly how it is with mine! And i have two best friends as well! How uncanny!
Lynn
scary! it's unusual enough to find identical twins. my sister's called sophie. do you ever find that people tell you of how they thought it would be amazing to have a twin when they were younger? and all you can say back is 'actually, it isn't that great.'?
'one positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realities' ~ Adeline Yen Mah
Really? I thought identical twins are kinda not so uncommon anymore, i mean with IVF and all, people seem to be sprouting multiples everywhere! I know what you mean, there was a time i was struggling to find my own identity as people always know me as 'the twins' but now i am really embracing my twinhood. I mean, it's always been the 2 of us against the world, and she knows how i feel without me having to say anything. It feels a little less lonely in this world when you know there's someone who's always connected to you no matter what.
Lynn
IVF causes non-identical twins - not identical ones. the numbers of twins generally are rising (haven't specifically notced identical ones). i've always found it difficult to find an individual identity while having a twin; i don't feel like one person, i feel like one of two people. and that is especially hard for me having always been in the same school, and good at the same things as my twin. i still find that people around me, especially my teachers and very old/ very new friends associate me with being a twin. even though it is nice to have someone to fall back on i guess that if i could not have a twin i would love to, but i would miss that comfort - not knowing any other option.
'one positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realities' ~ Adeline Yen Mah
Well said Hilarie! I agree whole-heartedly :) And i, like you, have been blessed with such wonderful, inspiring, kind, caring, loving...jusy AWESOME friends and i thank God for them every single day. I rely heavily on my friends for support in the absence of my family. My immediate family (mom, ,dad, 2 sisters n nieces and nephew) all live n FL and my son and I are up here in Long Island, NY. So, my awesome friends are our support here. They have become such a huge part of our lives that the line between friends and family is just about diminished! Some of them ive been friends with for 20 years...thats a long time!! But of course, theres always that special one (not that they ALL arent, but you know what i mean) that comes along and although shes not from the group of "old" friends, she managed to find her way into my heart....and thats where she'll stay FOREVER! I love my Deb (aka FRIEND)! This girl has become my rock. I cant even begin to explain the difference she's made in our lives. She is just so positive, inspiring, warm, thoughtful, couragous... and we LOVE her! Her and her family have become our family and i dont know where id be today with out her (and them). Sooooooo......as i said - i agree completely with your statement "If your friend isn't "The Best" then what's the point??".....choosing our friends is such an important part of life!! And isnt it funny how some people you just 'click' with when you meet them?! I can usually tell right off the bat from either talking with someone or meeting them that we're gonna be great friends....i usually feel that connection instantly - call me koo-kie but i swear by it!
Anyways...glad to hear that you have a solid support system - everyone should! Its the best feeling when you know that the people in your life love you - knowing your faults and all! Those are the type of people i want around....and luckily ive got them!! I wish the same for everyone.............friends are a blessing!!
XoXo Lisa
I feel the same way about having more then one best friends. I have 4. They are the people I trust with everything and I know I can go to for anything and they will not ask question on how I got there but how they can help me get out of it. I met my bf Michelle in my grade 10 history class and we just clicked right a way and when my friends from high school changed she seam to be the only one who i have been really able to count on the most. I met my only male bf through an ex, and we had a class together in college. Mike is great, we can go a few weeks with out talking and the next time we talk it is like no time has past what so ever. My other two best friends I met around the same time through a sport team that we were on. Brit and Juillene are great, they have got me through one of the hardest time in my life by make sure I had laughter and letting me know they were there even when I tried to shut them out. That right there is what i think makes a best friend.
<3
Ceal :o)